Metamorphosis: a Constant State of Transformation

More Advice from Children

2012-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

A while back, I came across an article in which children were asked the question, "What is Love?" Their responses were so funny and sweet; I especially enjoyed one from a 4-year-old girl who said, "love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

And today a friend of mine posted this article, in which kids were asked questions about how to decide who to marry! Enjoy! :)

How do you decide who to marry?

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?

(1) When they’re rich.
- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
- Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn't get married?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 favorite is……..

How would you make a marriage work?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10

Hahaha! Gotta love kids. :)

Wisdom from a 6-Year-Old and a Dog

2011-12-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

I got this story in an email today and it made me smile. :) So naturally, I wanted to share it with you! Enjoy!

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?''

The six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

"Animals come into our lives as gifts from God, for companionship, to
teach us, and to heal us. They deserve our very best efforts in caring for
them"...Dr. Ihor Basko, DVM

Running Through the Rain

2011-10-02T16:32:00.000-07:00

(I read this story today and fell absolutely in love with it! Hope you enjoy it too!)

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red-haired, freckle-faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in; "Mom let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" she repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain!"

"We'll get soaked if we do..." Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom...that's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing!" Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories. So don't forget to make time, and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. I hope you take the time to run through the rain today.

What's in a name...

2011-08-25T20:05:00.001-07:00

My mom used to tell me that before I was born, she wanted to name me "January." I always laugh when I think about what it would have been like to grow up with a different name than the one I've been given. I’ve always been interested in the meanings behind names. Ava means “like a bird,” Kayleigh, means “pure,” and Eliana means “answered prayer.” I remember feeling sad years ago when I looked up the meaning behind my name. Do you know what it says?

Jamie: feminine form of James

Seems kind of vague. So I took that as my cue to look up what James means.

James: supplanter

And surprisingly, I have no idea what a supplanter is. (In fact, Microsoft Word is telling me it’s not even a word!) So I took that as my cue to look it up.

Supplanter: one who supplants.

Yeesh, nothing seems to be helping here! So I took that as my cue to look up what it means to “supplant.”

Supplant: to take the place of; to serve as a substitute

Great. So essentially, "Jamie" means "substitute?" How anticlimactic.

Then I was curious what my middle name meant.

Leigh: meadow, healer

Wow! Now this is actually kind of interesting!

Jamie Leigh -->translated-->one who takes the place of a meadow or a healer

Okay, upon first glance, that looks ridiculous. And kind of hilarious!
But then I thought about it.

Meadows are my absolute favorite places. I’ve been to the mountains, and while they are beautiful, I prefer to have both feet firmly on the ground—ground that doesn’t reach WAY up into the sky!

And every time I go to the beach, I feel out of place. It’s great sitting back and enjoying the scenery…but the ocean makes me nervous, and I'm not the biggest fan of sand. So, I’m not exactly a beach-y person either.

And then it hit me: when I picture myself in a happy place, I see a wide open field. I picture myself in a flowy white dress, twirling and jumping, wild and free, hair blowing in the breeze—in a beautiful meadow!

The way I’ve always thought, a meadow is a place of peace. Calm, tranquil, open, and inviting. A place where you can dance like nobody is watching and frolic about like a child!

And then I thought, “I would love to take the place of a meadow!”

To be the person who others can turn to in a time of need, and can leave feeling at peace—that’s the person I want to be. I want to be the friend who allows others the freedom to dance around wildly, without a care in the world; the person who others can feel calm and comfortable around; the woman who can assure others that peace can be discovered in the smallest, most seemingly insignificant moments in our lives. A person like this—like a meadow—has the power to heal even the hardest of hearts.

A Reflection on Life and Stained Glass Windows

2010-11-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

November 22, 2010
3:35pm
Laying on a grassy Northside hill

It's one of those days.

You know, the kind where you almost feel like you're daydreaming. Life seems to be passing by like a blur all around me...but when I sit on this hill, it's like time stands perfectly still--I can simply enjoy the moment.

Moments like this are like treasures hidden in plain sight, waiting for us to slow down and find them. And once we do, we wonder why we don't go searching for them more often. Moments to simply pause, tune out the noise of the world, and drink in the beauty all around us--the beauty that God has showered upon the world so that we might see His beauty shining through it.

As soon as I woke up this morning, I had an interesting thought.

Life is a collection of our yesterdays.

Each morning, we wake up to a new day, and add another day to our collection of yesterdays.

I pictured this image of a stained glass window, made up of multicolored, multifaceted shards of glass.

Each day of life is a shard of stained glass that tells a different story, and the essence of each story—the experiences, the discoveries, the emotions—give each individual piece a different shade, a different angle, a different texture.

And each day, as we add new yesterdays to our collections, the pictures in each of our stained glass windows become more and more interesting. Our yesterdays, when pieced together day after day, form a unique design. No two lives are the same, so no two windows are exactly alike.

I’ve realized that as more time passes by, we are better able to see how our yesterdays connect together to form something completely new--something that we were unable to see while we were living out those yesterdays. We're able to see the complete picture of our lives.

The beautiful thing is that we are not defined by our yesterdays; they may have led us to our current place, and given us certain perspectives, but remember this:
our yesterdays are made of glass.

If we want to change, there is nothing holding us back! We simply need the courage, strength, and will to shatter the stained glass window of our past. With our Father's unfailing love, we can always ask for a new beginning and start over.

He offers us a new beginning every single day; a chance to recreate our stained glass windows. If you choose to seek Him with reckless abandon and a sincere heart, your window will only become more and more beautiful with time.

Strive to make your yesterdays as beautiful as possible, by living your today for Christ. By His grace, you can build an exquisite stained glass window--one that will be so translucent that His light will shine through it, for all to see.

Be Satisfied With Me

2010-10-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone;
to have a deep soul relationship with another;
to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to be a Christian, God says “No, not until you are satisfied,
and fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone,
with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found
will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united to another
until you are united with Me,
exclusive of anyone or anything else,
exclusive of any other desires or longing.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you
the most thrilling plan existing…one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best!

Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that is all.

Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten,
or that I have given to them.
Don’t look around at all the things you want.
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready, I will surprise you
with a love more wonderful than you would ever dream.

You see, until you are ready,
and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
to have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
and the life I have prepared for you,
you won’t be able to experience the love
that exemplifies your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love;
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me,
and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of
beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
For I am God. Believe it, and be satisfied.”

--Saint Anthony of Padua

As the Cars Pass By

2010-09-19T11:52:00.001-07:00

September 17th, 2010
9:07am
5th Floor of Evan’s Library, looking out the window towards Texas Avenue

As I look out the window of the library today,
I see the cars passing by, going their separate ways.
Each one has a story, probably none of us will know,
but our lives are all connected, like one great big TV show.
As I watch these cars speed by, along their merry way,
I cannot help but wonder, what is your story today?
Are you struggling at work, just trying to get by?
Do you feel lonely or afraid, like you simply want to cry?
Is anxiety or pain, or anger, or regret
a part of your life that you wish you could forget?
Did you always have a dream that seems it never will come true?
Are you haunted by a dark past that tells you, “you are doomed”?
Don’t listen to this nonsense—these feelings and distress!
There’s so much more than this life; it’s not just one big mess!
God’s watching over each of us, every single day...
no matter where we go, and no matter where we stay.
It’s amazing how He weaves the story of just one single life,
but even more astounding how our stories are intertwined.
We share many similar struggles, and many of the same fears,
like worrying about money, or losing those we hold so dear.
But amidst all the worry, and amidst all the pain,
we find we have a family, connected through God’s name.
Whenever you feel lonely, or anxious or ashamed,
know that Jesus loves you every day, just the same.
He holds you in His arms, in a loving, tender embrace
and reminds you every day that you are His, and you are safe.
As I watch the cars pass by, from this window where I write,
I pray that all may know this truth—that all might see the light.

Stationary Phase

2010-09-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

On my first day of this new semester, I listened to a very interesting lecture in my Food Bacteriology course. My professor discussed the phases of growth that foodborne pathogens generally adhere to. Oddly enough, that little lecture really inspired me.

Oh I know...it sounds crazy, being inspired by the microbial life cycle...but let me explain.

The first part is called “Lag Phase.” During Lag Phase, the microbes adapt to their environment. They figure out where the nutrients are, and get used to the temperature and conditions.

The next part is “Log Phase.” During Log Phase, the microbes experience a period of rapid growth and replication.

Then the microbes will enter “Stationary Phase.” (Bear with me now, I know this isn’t really exciting reading...) In Stationary Phase, they hit a plateau. They stop growing and replicating.

The final phase is Death. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

So, you’re probably wondering, “Why in the world was this so inspiring?” Well...

There are 4 phases: Lag, Log, Stationary, and Death.
There are 4 years of college: Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Senior year.

(See what I did there?) During freshman year, we adjust. We find the best places to get our nutrients, adapt to new life, and find a place we can call “home.” When we come back sophomore year, and we know where everything is. We know the environment well, have a circle of friends, and start to become more active in our organizations—and we experience rapid growth. (Sounds kind of similar to the microbial life cycle, right? Maybe I’m not so crazy after all!)

However, times are changing and I am now a Junior. I know the drill; I’ve done all this before. I’ve heard that Junior year is sometimes the hardest because things aren’t as surprising as they used to be, so there isn’t as much excitement. Things have become almost routine, and growth may become stagnant. You basically enter Stationary Phase. And eventually you will die.

But it doesn't have to be this way!!

I took this as a personal challenge, and I encourage anyone who is reading this to do the same! I will NOT allow myself to enter Stationary Phase! Life is not about growing and growing...only to hit a plateau and stop. No matter how far you’ve come, no matter how much you’ve grown, you should still keep pushing forward! So join a new organization, make new friends every day, perform random acts of kindness, learn a new language or hone a skill—and even if your life is a nonstop whirlwind of events and you don’t feel that you have the time to grow...you do!

God provides us with multiple opportunities for growth every single day. Whether it is growing in the virtue of patience, practicing kindness, avoiding gossip, or simply catching yourself before you utter a complaint, there are plenty of chances for us to grow daily. We just have to become aware of them.

Blooming Where You're Planted

2010-08-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my mom used to always tell me, “Honey, you’ve just got to bloom where you’re planted.” She would explain to me that God planted me here for a reason, and this is the place where I’m supposed to blossom. I didn’t understand why God wanted me to grow up on a farm—and honestly I still don’t. I never felt like I fit in here.

Just the other day, my uncle was telling me about how weird I am.

He couldn’t believe I’d never had a beer, or tried any drugs, or attended a party where other people were doing these things. He thought I was crazy for still having all A’s after 2 years at A&M. He was shocked that I’d never gotten a speeding ticket, and that I don’t have texting on my phone. He can’t get over the fact that an old man I’ve only met once is paying for 4 years of my college education. He makes fun of me for eating “tree bark” cereal and drinking green tea and never skipping class and trying to take 8ams. He found it interesting to know that I still go to church, and that I even pay money to staff church retreats. He was glad that I hadn’t ever dyed my hair or gotten any tattoos or strange piercings. He thinks I’m odd because I love spending Friday nights at the church, and playing board games, and going out for frozen yogurt. But most of all, he thinks it’s crazy that I can live like this and actually have friends!!

He asked “So, do you ever have fun?” I didn’t think he’d understand if I told him that there is OVERWHELMING joy in living this way, so I just said “Of course!” My uncle just looked at me and said, “You know I love you…but you are just plain weird.”

Out here in the middle of nowhere, Texas, I am sure that most people think I’m nuts. But God planted me here for a reason. I don’t exactly know what the reason is, and maybe I never will. But I know that there IS a reason, and that is enough for me.

When I come back home from college, I always feel funny. I’m on a break from school, and I typically feel like my life is on hold. I feel stagnant—like I did so much growing during the semester, and now I’m just sitting here on the farm, where there are no opportunities for growth. Every time I come back home, I ask myself, “How could I possibly grow in this kind of environment?” I eventually decide it’s impossible.

However, this summer God showed me ways I could grow, and I really don’t even know how He did it. I honestly didn’t even realize it until my mom mentioned it a little over a month ago. Long story short, I started doing the dishes. I started picking up the dirty clothes and doing the laundry. I started putting other people’s clothes away. I started tackling little projects around the house, like cleaning out and organizing the hallway closet. No one was telling me to do any of these things—I just knew that they needed to be done, so I did them. All day, every day. Now, I remember doing these things in the past…but with annoyance. In the midst of doing these “chores” I would wonder “why am I picking up after everybody else? Why can’t each of us wash our own dishes? Why can’t the boys ever do laundry?” I was constantly wondering “Why me?”

I don’t know how this change occurred, but I began to find joy in doing these things for my family. I still can’t really put it into words, but I’ve grown so much by doing these simple things. And many of them don’t require 100% of your attention, so all the while you can talk to God. You can ponder many things in your heart while the rest of your body is at work. I found that doing the dishes for your family can actually be a form of prayer.

While doing dishes I also realized how we take such things for granted. Running water, for one. I read that one in six people in the world live without access to clean water. And the fact that we have almost unlimited access to it, all at the turn of a handle, is really an incredible blessing. But not only do we have that blessing—we also have the means to afford that water. Along with plenty of other things, like an abundance of food…which we eat on these plates…that I am now very thankful to be able to clean with this water.

The things that always seemed annoying—things that got in the way of “fun,” things that I literally dreaded doing—somehow began to transform my heart. It didn’t matter that I was stuck on the farm for several months, in a house that hardly holds everyone in my slightly-dysfunctional family—I asked God to help me grow this summer, and He did. He showed me that, after all these years, it is possible to bloom where I’ve been planted.

What is Love?

2010-07-02T19:16:00.001-07:00

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4- to 8-year-olds: “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.—Billy, 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. –Karl, 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. –Chrissy, 6

Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.—Samantha, 6

Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.—Terri, 4

Love is when mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.—Danny, 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.—Emily, 8

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.—Nikka, 6

Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no.—Patty, 8

When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you’re scared they won’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.—Matthew, 7

There are two kinds of love. Our love and God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.—Jenny, 4

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.—Noelle, 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.—Tommy, 6

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.—Elaine, 5

Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.—Chris, 8

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.—Mary Ann, 4

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.—Lauren, 4

I let my big sister pick on me because my mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her.—Bethany, 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.—Karen, 7

You really shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.—Jessica, 8

The winner was a 4-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed on his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Revelation Through a Puzzle

2010-06-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

As far back as I can remember, I have always loved puzzles. Word puzzles, cryptoquotes, Sudoku puzzles, crosswords, logic puzzles, even trying to solve the puzzles on Wheel of Fortune…but I still have this childlike excitement when I put together a jigsaw puzzle.

I just never expected for God to make so many things clear to me—to speak to me in such a symbolic way—through assembling one!

Several days ago, as I sat there at the kitchen table, I first sorted the pieces out. The finished puzzle looked like a painting in a frame, so I divided them up into two piles: one with the pieces of the frame, and the other with the pieces of the painting inside.

I thought I could probably piece together the outside frame first, and then assemble the painting. You know, work my way in. I tried this, and it was SO hard! All of the pieces looked the same, and none of them were fitting together the right way. After about half an hour, I knew that I had to begin from the inside, and work my way out.

God works through each of us on the inside—He works on our hearts. We are transformed by His grace, peace, and love internally. Once those inside pieces are put together, you can expand on them, and the puzzle grows toward the outside. As we grow stronger in our faith, everything in our hearts begins to reflect outwardly!

If we “go through the motions,” simply doing things because they are expected of us, or because our parents make us…then what good are we doing? If we go to church on Sundays and daydream the entire time, pay no attention to anything that’s being said, or go simply to keep up a good reputation, what is the point? Christianity is not meant to be an exterior ornament…it is meant to be a way of life—“life in abundance,” (John 10:10). And it all begins on the inside, in your heart.

So I started putting together the inside pieces. Interestingly enough, the first pieces I found and put together were of Jesus’ face! It wasn’t until a moment later that I realized what happened and found it amusing—after all, He is the beginning!

Just when I thought there couldn’t be any more symbolism, something else hit me. I was looking for one particular piece, and I was certain that I knew what I was looking for. Minute after minute after minute went by, and I still couldn’t seem to find that perfect piece. “Oh, I see,” I thought to myself, “another lesson in patience.” (God can’t seem to give me enough of these!) But that wasn’t all.

“YES! I found the piece!” I thought excitedly. I was so eager to put it into place, thinking that my patience had paid off and this piece would fit, and we would all live happily ever after!

But strangely, the piece didn’t fit at all. I remember actually saying out loud, “How?!” I was so confused, because it was exactly what I envisioned going there…but apparently I was wrong. I tried to make them fit together several more times before I accepted the fact that it was not the right piece. I had gotten my hopes up so high that it seemed upsetting to go back to the huge pile of pieces and keep searching for that right one! But I shook it off and kept looking.

“Here it is! This HAS to be the right one!” I thought—with even more excitement this time around. But once again…the piece didn’t fit.

“Whatever,” I thought. I decided to just stop looking for it. That piece is probably missing from the puzzle altogether! The puzzle maker must have misplaced or forgotten to include that little piece when he packaged up the box. I stopped searching for that one.

Instead, I started looking for more pieces of Jesus…and as I was looking, it was like this piece appeared out of nowhere! I thought, “this might be it…” but didn’t get my hopes up just in case it wasn’t. But to my surprise, it fit just right! I couldn’t believe it! It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it was perfect!

(Hahaha, I really don’t think I need to elaborate on that one! I do hope that story comes true one day! Until then, I’ll just have to be patient and keep directing my vision upward!)

After several hours of piecing together this massive puzzle, I began to wonder if I would ever finish it. I never thought it would be so challenging! There were so many pieces, it was a little overwhelming. But after hours and hours of trying to figure it out—and misplacing pieces over and over again—it was finally finished.

And it made me think…it’s just like life. We mess up over and over and over—sometimes we get the wrong piece and other times we get the right piece, just depending on the circumstances around us. But no matter what happens, it all comes together the way it is supposed to in the end!

What’s funny is that even after I finished the puzzle, the symbolism didn’t stop. That evening, I was at the church helping paint backdrops and signs for Vacation Bible School. Out of the blue, one of the ladies who was painting with me started talking about this sermon she heard several years ago. She didn’t know why, but it always stuck with her, and she wanted to somehow incorporate its message into the VBS program. Here is what the priest had said:

“Imagine you are trying to put together a 1000 piece puzzle. It is a very difficult puzzle to put together. Now imagine that there is no picture on the box. How would you even know where to begin? Here’s the thing: God knows what the picture is supposed to look like—He has the picture and we don’t. He is there to guide us in the right direction, and show us where the pieces go in the puzzle of our lives.”

I spent a long day working on a 550-piece puzzle and painting African savannas (including elephants, monkeys, and meerkats!), and came home at night feeling full of peace. Now every time I see a puzzle, I will remember the special way God spoke to me that day:

“My lovely daughter, trust me. With patience, everything will eventually fall into place.

Nutrition, Health, and God's Role in it All

2010-05-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

God left us great clues for us to know what foods help what parts of our bodies. (And since I'm a nutrition major, this is particularly exciting! I got these facts from an email from a friend--they are pretty amazing!)

*A carrot, when sliced, looks like a human eye. You can see the pupil, iris, and radiating lines, just like an eye! And it's no coincidence that studies have found that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

*A tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart also has four chambers and is red. Research shows that these lycopene-loaded tomatoes are great for heart health.

*Grapes hang in clusters in the shape of a heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell. Studies show that grapes are profound heart and blood vitalizing fruits.

*A walnut looks like a little brain, with a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrum and lower cerebellum. Even the wrinkles or folds on the outside are just like the cortex. We now know that walnuts help to develop more than three dozen neurotransmitters used in brain function.

*Kidney beans heal and help maintain kidney functions. And yes, they look exactly like human kidneys.

*Celery, bok choy, and rhubarb look like bones, and specifically target bone strength. Also, bones are 23% sodium, and these foods are 23% sodium.

*Avocados, eggplant, and pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix in females. And they greatly resemble these organs. Today's research shows that women who consume one avocado a week have a better hormone balance, can more easily lose weight after pregnancy, and are at a lower risk for cervical cancer. And, interestingly enough, it takes exactly nine months to grow an avocado blossom to ripened fruit!

*Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. They are known to increase the mobility of male sperm, as well as increase the numbers of sperm.

*Sweet potatoes look like the pancreas, and are great for diabetics because of their low glycemic index.

*Olives assist in the health and function of the ovaries.

*Grapefruits, Oranges , and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

*Onions look like body cells. Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

I don't believe this is coincidental...do you? ;) No, I think these were little hints from our Creator! He always knows just what we need, doesn't He? And He made them just for us!

God's Accuracy

2010-05-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

I read this in my church bulletin from St. Joseph's last Sunday:

How lovely it is to think about the way our Creator planned everything so carefully and perfectly.
Everything has a plan.

As His creation, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made."
God's accuracy can be observed in the hatching of eggs. For example, the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days; those of the canary in 14 days; those of the barnyard hen in 21 days. The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days; those of the mallard in 35 days. The eggs of the parrot and ostrich hatch in 42 days.
Notice they are all divisible by seven.

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as numbers of grains. Each watermelon has an even number of strips on a rind. Each orange has an even number of segments. Each ear of corn has an even number of rows. Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains. All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks. Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row, odd.

The waves of the sea roll on shore 26 to the minute in all kinds of weather. The Lord specified thirtyfold, sixtyfold, and a hundredfold--all even numbers. Thus the Lord in His wonderful grace can arrange the life that is entrusted to His care in such a way that it will carry out His purposes and plans, and be fragrant with His presence. Only the God-planned life is successful. Only the life given over to the care of the Lord is safe.

A Prayer for Joy

2010-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

A little prayer for those who are in the same boat as I am right now; those who are currently asking, "what am I supposed to do with my life?", trying to find your calling, and discerning God's will--I'm right there with you!! This was taken from Ken Gire's book, "Windows of the Soul." I thought it was beautiful, and I wanted to share it with you. :)

"Help me, O God,
To listen to what it is that makes my heart glad
And to follow where it leads.
May joy, not guilt,
Your voice, not the voices of others,
Your will, not my willfulness,
Be the guides that lead me to my vocation.
Help me to unearth the passions of my heart
That lay buried in my youth.
And help me to go over that ground again and again
Until I can hold in my hands,
Hold and treasure,
Your calling on my life."

"The wilderness will lead you to the place where I will speak..."

2010-03-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Ah—Spring Break.

Finally, it’s the week we’ve all been dreaming about! :D The week that we have to remind ourselves about every time we’re stuck in the library, staring at information for countless hours (which may or may not turn out to be completely pointless); every time the alarm clock goes off and you feel like your head just hit the pillow 5 minutes before; every time you feel like life is speeding by so quickly that there’s simply no time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the beauty of it all.

But now it’s here! A whole week to do whatever you want!

And you know what I’ve been dreaming about?

Waking up whenever I feel the warm sunshine gently touch my face;
being able to put on a dress and no shoes and frolic through a field of grass;
drinking in the quiet beauty of the blooming flowers, new blades of grass, and trees that have been around much longer than me;
strolling past waters that sparkle so brightly in the sun that I actually have to squint my eyes to look at them;
feeling the breeze run through my hair, and the green grass beneath my toes;
hearing the birds sing their songs and watching them chase one another in the endless blue sky;
and running down these old familiar country roads at sunset with my good ol’ dog, Roxy.

And I’ve realized something interesting over the years—every time I imagine being completely at peace, I get this image of myself in a huge garden. As a child, I used to pretend I was a magical fairy who lived in a huge garden and slept inside a flower. During my summers as a teenager, I grew to love taking walks by the sunflower patch right before the sunset. And since I’ve been in college, I always find myself daydreaming about laying on grassy knolls when it’s a beautiful day outside.

Well, I thought of something. Maybe I feel this way because that’s what we were created for! To live in this lush, green garden full of life, and full of God’s peace. When God created Adam and Eve, he placed them in a garden—not some industrialized area with skyscrapers and paved roads and cell phones. Maybe that’s why I crave so much to be in a garden; because that’s where we were originally intended to live.

And as far as feeling God’s peace goes, I think it’s really difficult to NOT feel it when you’re amidst such beauty. I think once we get away from the noise and busy-ness of everyday life in the twenty-first century, we can really sense God’s presence in a unique way. It reminds me of a line from this hymn called “Hosea.” (I think it’s also sometimes called “Come Back to Me.”) One verse says “the wilderness will lead you to the place where I will speak.” I’ve sung this hymn many times, but never really picked up on that line until we sang it a while ago at AA #88. I think it’s so much easier to hear God’s voice when we’re in the vast “wilderness!” You could think of it another way too…like, if you think about “wilderness” as some unknown, and unexplored territory. I’m having a lot of uncertainties right now with regards to God’s will for my life—and you can probably relate to my struggle :)—and I think these uncertainties could be thought of as an unknown “wilderness.” But the uncertainties will lead you to a place where He will speak. And then, one day, you’ll know.

That's what it made me think about anyway. Hope anyone who is reading this has a wonderful spring break! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit on the front porch and drink some iced tea out of a Mason jar. :)

For the love of snow

2010-02-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

Two days ago, it was 70 degrees and sunny...and now snow is quickly covering the entire A&M campus! Gotta love College Station weather. :) I was studying in the library earlier today, but I couldn't stop looking at the snow falling outside--it was so mesmerizing to watch it fall from so high up! I just felt like it was such a beautiful gift from God--something He wanted us to enjoy watching! And then I was inspired to write a poem. So I did! :) Here it is:

Oh glorious snow,
so wondrous and white;
I smile with glee
as you float down so light.
How majestic, how magical,
how beautifully rare
is a sight like this--
I can't help but stare!
Like little white cotton-balls
raining down from the sky;
you captivate us all,
but you don't even try.
You descend from the heavens
with grace like a dove;
such a magnificent gift
from our God above! :)

Who is He?

2010-02-20T11:04:00.001-08:00

In chemistry, He turned water into wine.

In biology, He was born without natural conception.

In physics, He disproved the law of gravity when He ascended into Heaven.

In economics, he disproved the law of diminishing return by feeding 5000 men with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.

In medicine, he cured the sick and the blind without administering a single dose of drugs.

In history, He is the beginning and the end.

In government, He said that he shall be called Prince of Peace.

In religion, He said no one comes to The Father except through Him.

Who is He? He is Jesus!

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.

Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.

He had no army, yet Kings feared Him.

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

Brothers and sisters, let's celebrate. :)

Twenty

2010-01-27T13:06:00.000-08:00

Well, today I am officially twenty!

It feels strange.

I realized this morning that I now have the right to begin sentences with, “Back when I was a teenager…”

Hahahahaha!

But anyway.

In my 5th grade journal, the first sentence reads, “My name is Jamie Hoelscher, and I never want to grow up!” This was the year I entered the “double-digits.” When I turned 13, I told my mom, “I don’t ‘feel’ thirteen…I still feel the same way I did when I was twelve!”

The same thing happened when I turned 16…then 18…then 19…and now it’s happening again at age 20! It makes me wonder…will we ever really “feel” our age? Is age more a “state of mind” than anything else? I mean, obviously age is more than that—as we get older, our bodies certainly change in some pretty interesting ways…but it seems like deep down there’s still that part of you inside that is a curious, fun-loving, little child!

At least I think that’s the case with me :)

Back in the day, I always tried to imagine what life would be like when I’m 20. When I would try to picture myself at this age, I would see this mature, confident young woman with good posture and fewer quirks, who was basically ready to get a career, get married, start a family, etc.

HA!

Wellll…I may be twenty, but I don’t feel like I’m AT ALL ready for those things yet! (And as hard as I’ve tried, I often still have issues “sitting like a lady” and having not-so-nerdy mannerisms.) But I know I still have SO much learning and growing to do! It’s funny how you can imagine how things will change as the years go by…like when people ask “where do you see yourself in five years?” I imagine peoples’ lives don’t usually turn out quite like they predicted. But God promises that if we trust Him, everything will happen in the very best way.

Which rocks.

So now I’m going to begin my twenties with this sentence:
“My name is Jamie Hoelscher, and though I may technically be an adult, I am first and foremost a young and joyful child of God.”

Life in 2009

2010-01-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

In 2009, I…

*Turned 19

*Made the Dean’s List

*Sat next to the First Lady of Texas A&M, Miss Reveille, on the bus!

*Got annihilated by sprinklers while studying for a chemistry exam in a seemingly tranquil garden area…just minutes before my test!

*Found a new favorite tranquil spot on campus...a nice shady area on the golf course

*Celebrated Bleurghunday Eve Eve

*Learned about King Cake (Thank you Jackie!)

*Lost my calculator but got it back (with my brother’s deodorant sticker still perfectly intact!)

*Was inducted into the Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society; the same day I met Carolyn and her Granny!

*Learned how cancer works

*Ended a 4-year relationship

*Participated in my first Aggie Relay for Life

*Went to an Apotheosis concert

*Learned that sleepovers at Granny’s are the perfect way to end a long week

*Volunteered at a Soup Kitchen for the first time

*Survived the Swine Flu scare

*Went to my first Murder Mystery party…and actually apprehended the murderer?

*Got to officially meet the wonderful man who is paying for my college education

*Made Easter cards and crosses for ladies at a nursing home—and then played Bingo with them. They were hilarious!

*Finished my first year at A&M with a 4.0

*Became a confirmation sponsor

*Took up painting

*Read “The Purpose-Driven Life” (and I recommend it to everyone!)

*Took a road trip to San Antonio and Corpus Christi with my family

*Ate at the biggest Joe’s Crab Shack in Texas (and possibly the world…)

*Started writing again

*Changed my career goals

*Went to Six Flags with the whole gang from “Vitamin G”

*Saw my new favorite movie, Up

*Finally found common ground with one of the boys I’ve babysat for years…through discussing Pokemon. (Who knew all my random Pokemon knowledge would ever come in handy again?)

*Read the first Twilight book. (I think Edward is a creeper.)

*Got into a habit of running a mile every night with my dogs Jane and Roxy

*Had a scare when my computer crashed, but Thomas somehow brought it back to life

*Spent the summer months doing the most soul-searching I’ve ever done in my life

*Completely surrendered my life to God

*Went back to College Station to begin another semester at A&M

*Took a “Road Trip” to Blue Bell Creamery with Carolyn, Carolyn, Kristin, Stephanie, and Rachel the week before classes began

*Moved into a new dorm with Atalie—and decorated it half black-and-white/half bright colors

*Got a sweet periodic table poster

*Went running around campus with Atalie in the pouring rain

*Found the “Stairway to Heaven” in the Psychology Building

*Learned about intuition and snap judgments in “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking”

*Went to Granny JoAnn’s house for a fun night of swimming, chatting about life, and eating “Sock-it-to-me” cake!

*Became a mentor for some awesome Terry Scholar freshmen

*Baked some awesome cookies with Carolyn and Kristin in the Legett kitchen…and found out that they have free popsicles in their freezer :D

*Got to cook food for everyone on St. Mary’s Welcome Weekend retreat—yay cook staff!!

*Signed up for a Catholicism 101 class at St. Mary’s

*Learned that if you eat lots of bananas, you increase your chances of getting bit by mosquitoes

*Joined the TAMU Pre-Pharmacy Society

*Got a $5 gift card for buying 4 boxes of Special K at Target

*Hung out on top of the H2O fountain with Atalie and Aaron and watched the sunset

*Had dinner on the floor in Carolyn & Kristin’s dorm with the gang the night before classes began

*Switched organic chemistry professors the first week of classes

*Ran around the entire A&M campus (about 5 miles straight!) with Andrew & Andi—miracles DO happen!

*Almost got hit by a truck on the way to Breakaway…phew, that was close!

*Went to Silver Taps for the first time ever

*Belted out a rousing rendition of “Proud to be an American,” which Rachel secretly recorded on her cell phone after the Aggies’ first win of the season. Lovely.

*Learned that if a tree falls in the middle of a forest, and no one is around to hear it, it does NOT make a sound.

*Went on an adventure to “Aggie Mountain” with Jonny (and yes, we did talk like unicorns)

*Went on an adventure to Research Park to feed the ducks with Atalie and Aaron

*Lost my glasses, but found them!

*Lost my favorite coat, and never found it. So sad!

*Started to become acquainted with the wonders of coffee and its effect on productivity

*Started running into Andrew everywhere I went, which led to our tradition of walking to Mass together every day

*Made pretty acetanilide crystals in organic chemistry lab

*Saw Matt Maher in concert with Andrew, Andi, Sarah Keyser and Sarah Shaffell

*Was surprised when Andrew shaved his head

*Was also surprised when Atalie cut her hair to her shoulders

*Was surprised yet again when Carolyn cut off and donated 10 inches of her hair

*Made a 99 on my first math exam

*Learned how to sing the Chaplet of Divine Mercy—one of my new favorite prayers

*Discovered Nutella

*Polished off a whole jar of Nutella with Atalie in a little over 24 hours

*Found out that hazelnuts are just generally awesome

*Bought some Hazelnut hot chocolate mix too

*Got a sweet new poster from Katy

*Heard that the A&M Quidditch team might host a Yule Ball?!

*Watched a Quidditch practice

*Celebrated Stephanie’s 20^th birthday at an AMAZING little Italian place called Fritella

*Tried Rum Cake for the first time

*Learned how to operate an infrared spectrometer and a preparative gas chromatograph

*Discovered Jin’s Asian Café…and that their “light and healthy Pan-Asian cuisine” isn’t really as sketchy as one might assume!

*Discovered a secret path (that nobody else knows about!) with Carolyn Leatherman

*Got free birthday cake in Academic Plaza for A&M’s 133^rd birthday

*Made a 96 on my Psychology midterm

*Discovered the joys of Slackline Friday

*Discovered the PB&B smoothie at the Rec…YUM

*Almost got knocked out by a limb that fell from a tree literally inches from my head!

*Got interviewed by a guy in a Women's Studies class who wanted my opinion on Cosmopolitan magazine. (Oh boy did I give him my opinion!!)

*Went to a psychology lab where they’re studying cocaine-addicted rats…EEK!

*Celebrated “Catholic All-Stars Week!”

*Got told by a random stranger that must be “bringing paisley back.” Yay?

*Received some new Picnic animals from my brothers—Lieutenant Wenceslas, Alejandro del Telesilla, and Malachi the Mischievous

*Studied the kinetics of a solvolysis reaction

*Made Aggie Awakening! BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE!!

*Tried Nutella on a waffle. EPIC!

*Got to be on campus when President Obama visited A&M…and got a phone call from my older brother who was upset with me for not joining the protesters. (Of course he would be.)

*Attended the Genius of Women Retreat at St. Mary’s—awesomeness!

*Learned about a kajillion different organic reaction mechanisms and the required reagents

*Discovered the Underground BBQ place has baked potatoes!!

*Ran a dehydrohalogenation reaction using an alkyl halide

*Got TONS of free Kelloggs cereal and Rice Krispie treats when a guy visited our NDA meeting

*Had the opportunity to meet Chuck Norris…but turned it down! (Is that crazy?)

*Laughed when I saw that someone put a stuffed Pikachu on Sull Ross

*Discovered SPOONS! :D (Chocolate Obsession+Cake Batter=CRAZY delicious!)

*Lost my St. Anthony keychain. (Oh, the irony!!)

*Was given a 3^rd class relic of the true cross from my buddy Matt Brinkman!!

*Learned about the Miracle of Lanciano

*Listened to Christopher West’s AMAZING talk at The Longing, and discovered the beauty of sand painting

*Learned about the Serial Position Effect

*Had a couple of Sbisa sing-alongs led by Matt Kolker following daily Mass

*Learned all about subliminal messaging

*Wrote a research paper over how children interpret their dreams

*Discovered that there is another Jamie Hoelscher who goes to A&M

*Got told that my “Rainboots are fabulous!” by a British lady in Poor Yorick’s (she sounded just like the girl on the Orbit gum commercials! Haha!)

*Witnessed a Zombies vs Humans assault—one human singlehandedly took down 9 zombies right in front of me and Rachel! (And yes, Rachel did try to take pictures of it. And make a video. And yes, they did catch us. And yeah, they did want to see all of her footage.)

*Spent an evening making Christmas cards for some troops and eating pizza & “pokey sticks” with the Carolyn’s, Kristin, Stephanie, and Sarah

*Fell asleep in the library and almost got locked in!

*Shot the most wicked Nerf machine gun ever!

*Went to Step-Off for the first time

*Learned the difference between “Penguin Hour” and “Raptor Stage” (Thank you Kristin!)

*Discovered that Stephanie and I have more in common than we ever knew

*Got two new baby cousins! WHOOP! :D

*Saw a UFO! (Okay, it was actually a huge spotlight they were playing with at Kyle Field…but hey, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who was fooled!)

*Discovered the hilarious-ness of Mystery Google

*Saw at least fifty people wielding Nerf guns in a single day

*Discovered that in my family I am known for my apparent love of sweet corn. I was unaware of this.

*Created a secret handshake with Rachel

*Learned that the Animal Industries Building might be haunted by a professor who died there

*Heard about secret underground tunnels beneath the campus

*Tried to find these so-called tunnels with Andrew and Kristin

*Learned that even if we did find them, infiltrating them is a felony

*Learned later on that one of the tunnels is actually INSIDE a building, and that you CAN go through that one. (Friends, we have a new mission!!)

*Got a Skype account!

*Registered to take Kickboxing next semester!

*Had a wonderful last day of the semester exploring campus with Andrew and Kristin, followed by Mass and dinner at Johnny Carino’s with the whole gang, seeing “The Blind Side,” and enjoying one last trip to Spoon’s. How I love you all!

*Kept my 4.0

*Got Rachel an officially licensed Texas A&M collegiate Snuggie for Christmas

*Was asked to be a confirmation sponsor again

*Finally got to hold one of the newest additions to the Hoelscher family—my cousin Lexie Kay

*Celebrated the last Christmas with my Granny

*Was reminded again of just how precious life truly is…but was also reminded that the end of our time here on earth is really only the beginning—the beginning of eternal life with Jesus, the One we’ve been longing for all along.

Thoughts for the New Year

2009-12-31T20:40:00.000-08:00

These are just some random thoughts that I've collected over the years, and I thought they might be good things to keep in mind as we enter into another new year. Enjoy!

Thoughts for the New Year

*Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.
*Remember that kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence.
*Most of the time, what you're looking for is right in front of you.
*Laughing, crying, joy, and anger...all are vital, and all make us human.
*Take lots of pictures. One day you'll be really glad you did.
*Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
*When you say “I love you,” mean it.
*When you say “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.
*Believe in love at first sight.
*Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
*Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.
*Talk slowly, but think quickly.
*Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
*When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take steps to immediately correct it.
*Smile when you pick up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
*Spend time with yourself.
*Open your arms to change, but hold on to your values.
*Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
*Read more books and watch less TV.
*Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
*In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. *Read between the lines.
*Share your knowledge.
* Be gentle with the earth.
*Go somewhere you’ve never been before.
*If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
*Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes the blessing.
*Remember that the best relationship is the one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
*Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
*Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
*Trust your instincts
*Remember that time heals all wounds
*Know that your heart is the best compass
*Forgive those who have yet to do you wrong; then you won't have to worry about it should the time come.
*Remember that the source of most of your frustrations and anxiety are the result of either living in the future or living in the past.
*Don't fear the unknown.
*Remember that friends can be like elevators or cages--choose wisely.
*Keep in mind that oftentimes, those who aren't the easiest to love are those who need it the most.
*Know that you can keep going long after you can't.
*Remember that maturity has more to do with what experiences you've had and what you've learned from them; not with how many candles are on your cake.
*Remember that it's not what you have in life, it's WHO you have in life.
*Most of all, pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

Magnolias

2009-12-18T22:17:00.000-08:00

My mom e-mailed this beautiful story to me, and I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy! :)

Magnolias

by Edna Ellison

I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away.

As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle…so many details, so many bills, and so little time.

My son Jack was away at college, but he said that he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church.

After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years.

The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiancé walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on a hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died.

I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding.

Tim turned to me. 'Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements.' I mumbled, 'Sure,' as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links.

Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. 'Lord,' I prayed, 'please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers - in a hurry!' I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds.

As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house...No dog in sight. I knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good. No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, 'I'd be happy to!'

He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, 'Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today.'

No, Ma'am,' he said. 'You don't understand what's happening here.'

'What?' I asked.

'You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . .. He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. 'On Wednesday I buried her.' He looked away. 'On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left.'

I nodded.

'This morning,' he continued, 'I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!' I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!' About that time, you knocked, and said, 'Sir, I need you.'

I stood with my mouth open.

He asked, 'Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room...'

I assured him I was no angel.

He smiled. 'Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?'

'No.'

'I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!'

I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, 'Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness' sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today.'

But God found a way. Through dead flowers.

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Emotional Chastity: Love, Emotions, Taylor Swift, Mental Stalking and Mr. Right

2009-10-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

This was originally written by Sarah Swafford from Benedictine College. A good friend of mine sent it to me, and I just knew this was a message every woman could benefit from hearing!

I am not an expert on emotional chastity. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone is because there is next to nothing written specifically on the topic. I personally didn’t even know what emotional chastity was until I was in college here at Benedictine and some girlfriends and I started talking about it, and looking for answers.

I’ve been talking, surveying, thinking, praying, and wrestling with this idea of emotional chastity for years. This has all been an effort to nail down what it is, discuss what our biggest struggles are, and how can we deal with it as women of the 21st century?

I know how hard it is to not be completely obsessed with finding Mr. Right. It has a tendency to consume you. I’ve been there, but I’ve felt and seen the heartache of letting this hunt overtake you. All the emotions, frustrations, hopes, and disappointments can be overwhelming to say the least. Now, being a married woman, and having walked through that fire, I am on a personal mission to help figure this thing out!

I want to warn you that I hope you are not looking for the perfect person… he does not exist. You are not perfect and your spouse will not expect you to be. What you are looking for is the perfect person for you! I’ve made mistakes, I am not perfect. We all bear the battle wounds of “life”, but the worst thing you can do is say, “I didn’t start doing this whole chastity thing from the beginning, therefore, I am too far gone… I can’t start over.” You have to forgive yourself. Maybe it is second virginity you are looking for? You’ve fallen in a dark time and lost your virginity. Going to God for forgiveness and forgiving yourself is healing; you can have second virginity and make that commitment today to wait for your spouse. I have friends who have made this commitment, and it has changed their lives.

Maybe it is second emotional virginity that you are looking for, and you want to take steps in guarding your heart for Mr. Right? No matter what it is you are seeking in regards to chastity, it all starts within YOU. You control your heart, soul, and mind. It is yours to protect, and, one day, it will be yours to give.

Ah… Romance

I will be the first to tell you, I am a ROMANTIC! My husband, Andy, told me he loved me the first time in front St. Peter’s Square in Rome when a group of us were studying abroad in college. It was nightfall and the fountains were firing and the lights illuminated the Square, pouring what seemed like candlelight on his face… yes… romance is a good thing! Those emotions are a part of us for a reason, but they have to be ordered. Marriage is amazing, and romantic, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that it is also full of sacrifice, self-sacrifice, and hard work. You are constantly putting yourself last and serving others.

In thinking and praying about what I wanted to write on emotional chastity, I kept thinking about you. I keep thinking about every girl seeking her vocation, and how much I want happiness for you. I want your love story to be so beautiful, so captivating, and not full of heartache. And to be honest, I started to worry. I worry because the world likes to mess with you. Our world, and especially our media, is over-sexed, over-romanced, and over-stimulated. It’s not like being a woman isn’t hard enough with the mix and rush of emotions we deal with, but then we are bombarded with images, ideas, stories, precedents, competition and Paris Hilton.

My heart goes out to our dear friend Taylor Swift. She has an amazing voice and I love her sound, but if you just sit and read the lyrics, her song, “Love Story,” for example, she has some major emotional issues! Think about some of your favorite chick flicks, they are funny and romantic, but also a little disordered, are they not? You take a step back and somehow find yourself rooting for adultery, or when they sleep together, we say it’s not that big of a deal because it was “romantic”, right? Did you ever notice that chick flicks always seem to end right before they get married, right before the true test? Think about Twilight, The Notebook, The Hills,The OC, Real World, etc. Everything is so emotionally charged! You can’t get away from it!
Have you ever watched a chick-flick and then turned the tv off and were like,”Well, my life sucks,” and then you are depressed for the rest of the night. You say to yourself, “How long do I have to wait for my “Mr. Right” to come along!” You mope around, start daydreaming, listen to music, wait, complain to friends, wait, swoon over movie stars, and wait. Then you see him, some guy you are remotely attracted to, and he says, “HI”. Oh my gosh, this is it!

The “EMOTOCOASTER!”

What do you do? Mentally stalk him, of course. You start practicing your last name with his, and visualize your first date, and then the engagement proposal. Then you jump online and Facebook stalk him. You look at 1,245 pictures of him, including his fishing trip with his Dad and Uncle Bill, you see who he is friends with (and cringe when you think of who he may be more than friends with), and then you do the unthinkable… you text him. After text-flirting, you flirt with him in person, and then you hit the green button on your cell phone and actually call him. You spend hours on the phone, late into the night, revealing everything about yourself, leaving out no small detail. Next stop: physically stalking him. You have to be together, intimate, and alone all the time. You ditch your friends and spend all your time with him. We all know this usually leads to messing around and sleeping together. All of this from a little, “HI” in front of the café.

Okay, let’s break this down. Mental stalking, texting, and surfing facebook can all seem harmless, but there are some serious traps that can be set and wreak havoc on your emotional life. I have termed this cycle the “EMOTOCOASTER”. Like a rollercoaster, it looks like fun. The thrill, the speed, it’s so exhilarating… and then you get off and throw-up in front of everyone.

The Emotocoaster: The Trap:
Mental Stalking:
One way relationship, building the unknown, too high of expectations
Facebook stalking:
Getting into his personal life and making presumptions, let him tell you about himself!
Texting:
Intimate, misinterpreted, rationalize things into no big deal, addictive
Calling:
Stay up late, reveal a lot about yourself, addictive, no one there to hold you accountable, private
Flirting:
Attention seeking, filling an insecurity, sending mixed messages, fake, you want him to get to know the real you!
Physical:
You have to be around him, no fun without him, you do things just because he does, change who you are to please him (Runaway Bride: eggs), emotions are so strong, start going to things just because he is there, it’s tempting to wrap yourself up in something for the wrong reasons

So what if I told you that a guy friend of yours was bored one Saturday afternoon so he decided to get on the internet and look at porn. After a few hours of that, your face popped in his mind, he logged onto facebook to see what your status was and gawked at your pictures. He started thinking about you and how much he wanted to be with you… then he texted you. After talking on the phone for an hour, you decided to meet up with him at a party, and he flirts helplessly with you until the next thing you know he’s on top you.

How incredibly used do you feel? Think about it, reread it. Any guy who would do this to a girl, to YOU, is despicable, a jerk, and other choice words.

But wait… this looks speciously like the Emotocoaster… did you not just use that guy? Mental stalking, facebook stalking, texting, calling, flirting, and getting physical were a part of both examples. Men and women are different, we all know that… but we both have our versions of the Emotocoaster.

It has been said that romance novels are porn for women. I don’t know that many women who read trashy romance novels anymore, but I know a lot of women who fill their hearts with movies, music, tv shows, and girl-talk that can sometimes read like a romance novel.
When that guy was looking at porn, he wasn’t intending on using you… it just happened.
Same with you… you didn’t intend on getting in over your head so fast, it just happened.
It all “just happened” way before the mental stalking ever started, before the Emotocoaster ever took off.

The decision to stay off the Emotocoaster starts with this one quote, and I want you to remember it... a wise man once said, “A person should never be used as a means to an end.” His name was Pope John Paul II. He saw how the world was using each other to gain maximum pleasure for themselves, and he knew that this was going to be disastrous. You would never want to use your future husband and spin him around on the Emotocoaster, would you? Look at the heartache. Every man is someone’s future spouse, or he is reserved for God in the priesthood; you cannot use him to fill some hole in your heart, to comfort some insecurity you have, or to make you feel good about yourself and then toss him to the curb. Human hearts are fragile and we have to work to protect them.

“I think I am going to throw-up… get me off of this thing!”
I believe that the best way to get off the Emotocoaster is to make that first decision to never use anyone, and in turn to never allow yourself to be used. We have to work on becoming emotionally mature. Dave Ramsey is my favorite financial guru and he gives this definition of maturity: “Learning to delay pleasure for a greater good. Children do what feels good, adults devise a plan and follow it.” So we need to devise a plan and follow it!

You talk about being in the perfect place, at the perfect time! You are in COLLEGE! Hello! God has given you the greatest gift! He has given you time, and a place to grow and become the person you have longed to be! So who are you? What are you made for? What has brought you to this moment, the good, the bad, and the ugly? Who is God calling you to be? When that special guy comes along and falls in love with you, what will he be falling in love with?

We have to be emotionally mature, in control of our emotions, guarding our hearts, filling our lives with good things: the true, the good, and the beautiful… the virtues you need to be the best version of yourself! You have to take care of yourself. Now is the time to get ready, now is the time to prepare… it’s not game time yet, that is the day you take your vows in marriage or the religious life… and when that day comes, you better be ready!

The best dating advice I ever received was from a priest on a retreat. I asked him how I should get ready for a dating relationship, and he told me,

“Run… just run… run towards Christ and live for Him, don’t look in any other direction, and when the time is right and you feel strong and whole, glance to the side and see who is running next to you.”

Ladies, here is the secret… don’t chase after guys, molding them into what you want, spinning them around on the Emotocoaster… “Become the woman of your dreams, and you will attract the man of your dreams.”

I once asked a group of my guy friends in college what they found most attractive in a woman, and the answer was unanimous, “Holiness and confidence”. They said that even guys who were not into their faith would agree with them, though they might say, “A girl who is strong and sure of herself, and does the right thing.”
In studying this I have found that there is nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who is feminine, confident, and virtuous. Let’s break that down, what do I mean? Here are some traits I see in each quality:

Feminine Confident Virtuous
In control of her emotions
Gentleness & Kindness
Gracefulness & Sincerity
Patient & Flexible
Doesn’t gossip, isn’t rude
H.S. drama is a major turn off
Put together, modest (“Her clothes are tight enough to know she is a woman, but loose enough to know she’s a lady.”
Open to the needs of others
Nurturing, welcoming
Joyful & Fun
Has Self-confidence In control of her emotions
Stands up for what is right
Courage, not afraid to confront and help someone
Genuinely excited for another, not jealous/vain
Intelligent
Speaks with conviction
A true leader
Responsible
Prudent
Honest
Sensitive In control of her emotions
Puts others first, before herself
Excellence in all things: chastity, sobriety, and academic excellence
Pushes themselves, not lazy
Self control
Balance and order
Charity and service
Forgives
Trustworthy
Loyal
Pure

This is a tall order, I know! But isn’t this what you want in a guy? Let’s exchange feminine for masculine:
Masculine Confident Virtuous
In control of his emotions
Leader
Provider
Protector
Initiator
Chivalrous
Brave/Courageous
Gentle
Intuitive
Pure
Honorable
Joyful & Fun In control of his emotions
Stands up for what is right
Courage, not afraid to confront and help someone
Genuinely excited for another, not jealous/vain
Intelligent
Speaks with conviction
A true leader
Responsible
Prudent
Honest
Sensitive In control of his emotions
Puts others first, before himself
Excellence in all things: chastity, sobriety, and academic excellence
Pushes themselves, not lazy
Self control
Balance and order
Charity and service
Forgives
Trustworthy
Loyal
Pure

Hello! Can you imagine this couple coming together… what chemistry! Lasting chemistry, because it is not all about emotions. But most of all it’s not all about themselves. Do you see any using or manipulating going on? These two people are not going to use the Emotocoaster because they know that it’s too superficial and it moves to fast, right?

When God calls this couple to sacrifice, it will be easier because they are used to it.
This girl doesn’t have to fight all those insecurities because she is confident in herself.
She doesn’t have to fear being alone because she is strong and whole in who she is.
“Dance with God, and He’ll let the perfect man cut in.”
Don’t run around the dance floor throwing yourself at guys, trying to fill the void, or stand like a wall flower feeling sorry for yourself.
Dance with God, get better at dancing so you’re ready for the partner God taps and has prepared just for you!

“Ok, I get it… get off the Emotocoaster and stay off of it, work my tail off to get in shape emotionally, become the best version of myself, and dance with God. But what happens when the whole relationship thing does comes along, what the heck do I do!?”
First of all, don’t be scared, be confident! If you are in shape, you are feminine, confident and virtuous… and all of this relationship stuff will come naturally. I promise!

To help you out, I’ve devised “Sarah’s Steps to Healthy Relationships with Boys Men” (I crossed out boys, because after this talk, you are not allowed to date any more boys, only men!):

1. Stay off the Emotocoaster, it will make you sick.

2. Realize how lucky you are to be in college! Find each other, create friendships, seek out mentors, join organizations… the opportunities are endless!

3. Have friends that are running with you… you need accountability partners. You all heard this talk, and that means you all have what you need to hold each other accountable! My friend and I used to say, “If you have to ask, you know the answer!” With clothes: “Is this too tight? Too short?” If you have to ask, it probably is… use that with emotional chastity to: “Do you think I’m flirting with him? Should I go on this 2am walk alone?” Call each other out, with love and respect. Help each other become the women of your dreams!

4. Follow the natural progression:
Acquaintances
Friends/Group Dating - Same page, path, place. It’s all about timing… it’s not “which guy friend am I going to date?!” You’re dancing with God, remember?
Dating – DTR – defining the relationship, state your intentions, get to know one another, not talking about marriage and kids, but getting to know one another without 10 other people around
Courting – “A man's courting of a woman; seeking the affections of a woman, usually with the hope of marriage. To endeavor to gain the affections of; to seek in marriage; to woo.”
Engagement - Saying yes to preparing for a life together
Marriage – The Church defines marriage as, "The indissoluble bond between a man and a woman, created by human contract and ratified by divine grace." You can’t get any more romantic than that! Wow!

Unfortunately, most couples go from acquaintances, to dating, to living together and skip some very important steps in the natural progression. It makes sense, you share a little more of yourself at every level. The man has gained your trust. I get a lot questions like, “How much of myself do I share when pursuing a relationship with a guy?” This is a great question. Let’s pretend you are out on a group date and a really nice guy that has caught your eye, asks you to go to coffee with him tomorrow night. You show up to the coffee shop and say hello and then take all your clothes off. Ludicrous! You would never do that! So…
“If you wouldn’t bare your body, why would you bare your soul?”

Your body is so sacred… I beg of you not to give it away like it is nothing. If your body is worth so much and is so prized, how much more so is your soul? Everything that you are… your dreams, hopes, goals, hurts and feelings. Do you trust this man with all of that? Has he earned it? No, really, has he worked his butt off to keep you pure, to help you grow in virtue, has he proven his love? This is what you give your spouse, you give your whole self… do you see it? Time ladies… time proves love – take the natural progression of things to heart. It builds what will last.

You can also apply this to the question of, “Should I pray with the guy I am in a relationship with?” Think about how much you bare your soul in a conversation… think about how much you reveal in prayer. Praying out loud is very intimate and personal. It can also create a false sense of closeness if done too early in a relationship, “We pray together, this relationship is very serious.” Praying together is very intimate and should be a step you take in engagement and is vital in marriage.

Okay, let’s review one more time: “Sarah’s Steps to Healthy Relationships with Boys, No, Men”
1. Stay off the Emotocoaster
2. Love and Value college!
3. Make friends who will run with you and be great accountability partners
4. Follow the natural progression: Acquaintances, Friends/Group Dating, Courting, Engagement, and Marriage.

Conclusion ~ Bringing it all together!
I know I just threw a lot at you, but it is all so important and great to think about. I also know this all can be very heavy. We live in the world, but we are not of the world. I am not saying that you should go burn all your chick flick dvds and delete songs out of your ipod, but what I am saying is that you have to know yourself and if these things, or too much of these things, cause you to spin out of control and right onto the Emotocoaster, you have to monitor yourself, better yet, use that accountability partner of yours! Don’t dwell on what you did/do wrong; think about what you want to do RIGHT!

Bottom line, I want you to have your fairy tale romance, and you will! But I want it to be lasting and without heartache and drama. I heard it said at a talk once that the best way to approach a relationship is to begin with the end in mind. You should be able to go up to any guy you’ve dated on his wedding day and shake the hand of his wife and have her be able to say to you, “Thank you for the time you spent with my husband… he is a better man because of the time you spent with him.” You helped him become that prize for his bride. Don’t you want to do that for every girl? A guy you date could end up marrying one of your friends! Stay off the Emotocoaster for her sake! That bride appreciates the fact that you did not take anything away from her. You helped him save all of himself for his bride. Let’s make better men, by being better women! Amen?!

So… love, emotion, Taylor Swift, mental stalking, and Mr. Right…your Mr. Right is out there… pray for him, write letters to him now while you are dancing with God. Put all of those emotions you are feeling in writing, for him. Don’t waste them on the Emotocoaster. On your wedding day, he will love to read about how hard you worked for him, how patiently you waited for him, and how much you loved him before you even knew him. He will not be perfect, but he will be perfect for you.

My husband, Andy and I have been married for almost four years, and he is perfect for me, not perfect – neither am I, but he swept me off my feet in college… with romance yes, but that is not why I married him. Andy swept me off my feet by the way he treated other people, not just me. By being friends first and group dating, I was able to see him in many different settings and I watched him lead with confidence and grow in virtue as a man. I knew that would last – it was who he was… not what he did for me. And I will promise you this, after almost four years of marriage, I would trade all of the emotions and excitement of dating and engagement for what I have with him now. It all pales in comparison to having a husband, a partner in life, who has seen me at my worst and still adores me. A man who constantly sacrifices and gives – even when it is hard. I am so secure in his love because I trust him. I want that for all of you. And it wasn’t until I got off the Emotocoaster and started running did I eventually see him out of the corner of my eye.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

2009-08-22T15:35:00.001-07:00

Today I’m going to try to answer one of those unanswerable questions the best way I possibly can. I hope it speaks to everyone who reads this, and that you remember these thoughts if they don’t apply to you right now. I’m not sure why I feel so compelled to try to answer this question; but if what I have to say can impact ONE person’s life, then I will feel like I’ve done something good.

The question is: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” We ask this question repeatedly—we wonder how such a loving God can allow terrible things to happen to such innocent people. A person’s faith is really tested when experiencing a crisis (or multiple crises), but perhaps these thoughts will soothe some of the pain, or put the situation in a different perspective. If nothing else, it will let whoever reads this (believer or not) know that they have someone they can come to if they ever need help getting through a tough time.

There are only a few things that can be said in response to such a bold question.

1) The most common answer would be the one that we hear the most often: God is all-knowing, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, and eternal. How can we be expected to understand God’s ways? We are only human, after all. Remember Proverbs 3:5? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” I know it’s not easy to accept WHY things happen the way they do. Terrible, appalling, horrific things happen to seemingly innocent people day after day—how can this be an easy thing to accept? I once read that our viewpoint is similar to the back of a tapestry. From the back, it just looks twisted, ugly, and doesn’t make sense. But God can see the tapestry from the front, as it truly is, and everything fits together in a special design.

2) The Bible says repeatedly that we are ALL broken, sinful people—there is no such thing as a “good” person, really. And hardship is a natural part of life; bad things happen to EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to be the best Christian you can be—you will never be exempt from the rest of the human race. Everyone will have bad experiences in life, but God assures us that He is there through them all.

3) God wants us to call on Him; He desires closeness with each and every one of us. That’s why He sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins! Because He wanted us to be close to Him! Sometimes the only way for some people to find God is to have some life-altering crisis occur, so that they remember what is truly important. We tend to rely on Him, go to Him, depend on Him, and pour out our hearts to Him, when in times of trouble. This also helps to develop our character and make us the person He desires us to be.

4) Remember that God is not the almighty puppet master; He does not control people. He isn’t an almighty silver-bearded man playing “The Sims” on his computer with everyone He created on earth. He gave us FREE WILL, and that contributes to the evil in the world. Therefore, a man can choose to act foolishly; he can make the decision to drive drunk and end up killing innocent bystanders. Things like this go back to “free will” and how some people use it foolishly.

5) It makes us realize that there is MORE than just THIS LIFE. When these kinds of things happen, it lets us know that there is something much better than life on earth. We sometimes need to be reminded that ETERNITY is really what matters the most. Most of the time, we are so caught up with little worldly things that seem SO important in life, that we let our lives revolve around them. Perhaps God just wants us to remember that those things really don’t matter. Maybe He wants us to realize that the only one you can truly rely on…is Him.

I know that accepting the hand you’re dealt is often a challenge. I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy to just accept things and move on. At times, you may feel doubtful, hopeless, or even betrayed. However, I’ve heard that real faith is often the product of real doubt. Talk to someone if you’re going through a rough period in your life, read the book of Job or Psalms, and express your true feelings to God. He loves you no matter what, and He wants to comfort you…all you have to do is open your heart to Him.

Jesus, Love, & Chocolate

2009-08-15T16:02:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that “Cruel Summer” by Bananarama has been my Summer 2009 anthem. Although many people don't know it, the past few months have been really difficult for me, in so many ways. But I know that everything I've been through will make me a better person. God has been putting a lot of changes into place, but He’s helped me through them all; from giving me a new viewpoint of what true love really is (today's topic), to opening up my mind to new ideas about what I could do with my future. (More on that second part in my next blog...)

I’ll just say that I am definitely a Type-A personality; I like to make a decision quickly, and stick to that decision. “Going with the flow” is something that does not come naturally to me, but God has been opening my mind to the idea with every change He seems to make.

Case in point: ever since I was 15 years old, I knew who I was going to marry. There was no doubt in my mind—the case was closed; I had made my decision. But after nearly 4 ½ years, I felt in my heart that God was calling me in another direction; He seemed to be giving me constant signs that I needed to follow my heart, even though I argued with myself a lot for even thinking of changing my plans. I tried to make my feelings change, tried to force myself to say “everything is fine,” when in reality, my heart was telling me otherwise. I had never been so afraid in my life—how can you spend such a significant chunk of your life 100% convinced that you’re right…only to realize that you really can’t control your fate?

The good news is that, once again, God knew exactly what He was doing. The opportunity presented itself, and I was up-front and honest with him about the feelings in my heart. And guess what? He felt the same way. Our split was completely peaceful, and we are still friends today. However, adjusting to the fact that about a kijillion new doors have been opened has not been easy. Like I said, I am uncomfortable with “leaving my options open,” so the feeling is a bit overwhelming. But if I just keep listening to God’s voice in my heart, I know He will “lead me to what is best for me.” (Romans 8:28)

I have complete trust that God’s plan for me is better than my own…but I can’t help but wonder how things are going to pan out. When will I meet the man I’m meant to spend the rest of my earthly life with? Have I already met him, and I just haven’t realized it’s him yet? What is true love, anyway? What if I don’t get married until I’m like 40? What if I don’t ever get married? Questions began coming at me from all different angles.

I decided it was high time I read a book about Christian dating to keep these questions from creeping up every single day. (Haha, no pun intended.)

So I bought “Dating With Pure Passion,” by Rob Eagar, and let me tell you: I think everyone needs to read this book before getting into a relationship. It is absolutely incredible—I’ve read it twice, and I know I will read it again. He puts things into a whole new perspective from anything I’ve ever seen. For example, he talks about how each and every one of us has an “inner longing.” Many people expect this longing to be satisfied whenever they date or marry someone…but if this is true, then why is the divorce rate so high? He says that the true inner longing is for “unconditional love and acceptance.” And if you think about it, he’s right! That IS what we’re all after! We want someone who loves us for exactly who we are, despite whatever faults and imperfections we may have! Unfortunately, human love is, and always will be, conditional. We will eventually get upset, impatient, and disappointed with the performance of whoever we’re with. This is inevitable because we are human, and therefore we sin. We cannot love perfectly!

But Jesus can. :)

His love is really all the love we need. Earthly love is what Rob Eagar calls, “the chocolate.” Allow me to demonstrate:

You must have a well-balanced diet in order to feel satisfied, right? You cannot survive on chocolate alone. If you ate chocolate for every meal, three times a day, you would get sick. The well-balanced diet represents a relationship with Christ, and the chocolate represents a love relationship here on earth. You must accept Jesus’ love (a meal) first, and realize it is truly all you need; everything else is just extra chocolate you can have after your meal. Chocolate is good, but it cannot sustain and satisfy us like a good meal can.

That was a whole lotta’ metaphor there, so you might have to read it a couple of times before it really sinks in. Eagar also says that, “Although we cannot love perfectly, Jesus wants to ignite in us a desire to share passionate and sacrificial love with another person. He intends for HIS love to fill you and be expressed to someone else.”

WOW. I don’t know about you, but I never thought of it that way before. But it makes perfect sense! If you accept Christ's love, then you will be filled with it, and want to share it with someone else! If you get into a relationship because you want the other person to make you happy, then you are getting into it for the wrong reason. That person will inevitably let you down. You should get into a relationship when you have a sincere desire to love someone sacrificially; to be willing to lay down your wishes if they could benefit the other person, because you care about them that much!

What a beautiful world this could be if everyone wanted to love sacrificially instead of selfishly! I just pray that God leads me to someone and gives me a desire to love him in this beautiful way. A love like that is definitely worth waiting for!

It's Always Easier Said Than Done...

2009-08-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

Wow. Today has been arguably the most emotional day I’ve had all summer. I feel like I’ve been through a crazy roller coaster that flung me headlong into a whirlwind. Hopefully tomorrow will feel like a kiddie ride.

It was a great day until I turned on my computer. It did its usual thing at first…I typed in my password, it said “Welcome!”…and then it took 10 minutes to open. And when it finally DID get to my home screen, my background was missing. So were all of my documents. And all of my pictures. And all of my music. EVERYTHING was gone.

I sat there completely motionless, speechless, stunned…just flabbergasted at the thought of my computer crashing.

And then I burst into tears. It was one of those “bawling your eyes out” kind of things, where you’re breathing really loud, scrunching up your face, giving yourself the hiccups—the works. I just couldn’t process the idea that ALL my stuff was suddenly gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. Then I thought, “well surely there’s some way to get the stuff back! It can’t be gone forever!” I tried several different things, and did what Windows Help Center told me to do, but nothing worked. So I got online and looked up what could have possibly gone wrong, to see if there was anything I could do…and everything I found said “your user profile must have been corrupted, so you’re going to have to start over with a new account.” So, after almost two hours of trying everything I could to get my precious things back, it was settled. Something was corrupt, so all of my stuff got erased, and now I’m just going to have to start from scratch.

It was too much for me to take in. I immediately thought of all the precious memories I had captured and saved on my computer; all the photos, all the videos, and then I realized…MY JOURNAL was gone. My dearest journal! Sometimes it seemed like my journal was my best friend; it was always there when I needed to vent, wanted to tell a good story, wanted to brainstorm, or just needed something to help me sort out my thoughts. It held over 100 pages of my most treasured memories, old letters from friends, all my hopes, dreams, goals, and even my prayers…it captured the essence of my life.

I couldn’t take it! I grabbed my pedometer, ran outside, and began my journey down the road. Somehow I was going to have to get used to the idea of “loss.” And I sure as heck wasn’t going to come to terms with it staring me in the face.

So I start walking. I always go for a walk when I need to calm down. I can hardly see for the ferocious tears blinding me. My head is pounding, my hands are shaking, I’m starting to turn very red in the face. How could this have happened?! And then I remembered the blog I typed yesterday.

About how God makes sure everything works out to our advantage.

So I start talking out loud, trying to calm myself down. “Okay, so at least no one in my family crashed today. None of my friends crashed. I didn’t crash. It could be much worse. Remember how blessed you are…remember that none of these things can be taken into eternity anyway…remember that things like computers are not really that important…remember that Jesus loves you, and you love Him, and that’s all that really matters.”

But I was so upset that I was still sobbing and hiccuping. Why was it so easy for me to write that blog yesterday, but when faced with a real-life situation, I can’t seem to apply it? Why are things always so much easier said than done?

I felt terrible for being so depressed over the loss of the contents of my computer…I knew that I had to get over it though. I just started repeating the same thing over and over: “Things aren’t always what they seem…things aren’t always what they seem…”

After a while, it really began to sink in. I realized that I need to get used to loss. I need to realize that all these possessions aren’t really that important. I need to come to terms with the fact that I become easily attached to things that don’t really matter. A good friend of mine once told me to “hold on loosely to all that is not eternal.” And I have to admit, that is extremely challenging for me. But I felt like that’s what God wanted to teach me from this whole ordeal.

Much later, I had cooled down a lot, although I was still pretty down about it. I had walked 6 miles according to my pedometer, and I was back at home, wandering around the yard aimlessly, just trying not to think about everything I had lost. I had finally stopped crying, but my eyes felt dry and puffy, my feet and legs were tired, and my head was aching. That was when I noticed my little brother coming out onto the porch, shouting “Jamie, I think I fixed your computer!”

That was quite an odd moment. I had finally accepted the fact that I was going to have to begin another area in my life from scratch, and since I’ve been doing that quite a lot this summer, I figured I might as well get used to it. But then when he told me that he ran a system-restore on my computer and was able to get my account back to the way it was yesterday at 7AM, I couldn’t believe my ears.

It was a miracle!

My cherished photos and videos were back! My favorite songs were back! But most of all, my good ol’ journal was back! It was like being reunited with someone you never thought you’d see again!

I thank God so much for making me realize all of these things, without actually taking my treasured safeguarded memories away from me just yet!

I will say though...I am most definitely going to back up my hard drive from now on! :)

The Story of the Traveling Angels

2009-08-13T17:47:00.000-07:00

Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about this whole concept of “my future.” I always thought it was kind of laid out in front of me the way I wanted it, and as long as I didn’t mess anything up, everything would go according to plan. I would graduate from college in 4 years, get married, find a place to work and settle down, and after a while my husband and I could start a family. I’ve known this my whole life—this is the way it’s going to be! Perfect!

However, I failed to take into account such things as “divine intervention,” “circumstances beyond our control,” and “change of heart.” These things can most definitely alter whatever plans we make. But it seems like every time something unexpected happens, the outcome turns out to be a positive one. Isn’t that what God always promised? He knows what’s best for us, and He always acts in our favor!

I have a little story that my mom e-mailed to me a long time ago, and it really made me think. I saved it on my computer a while back, so I thought I would share it with you! It does a great job of capturing this truth and portraying it in a memorable way.

Traveling Angels

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room.
Instead, the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, “Things aren’t always what they seem.”
The next night, the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night’s rest.
When the sun came up the next morning, the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole source of income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel,
“How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him!” She accused, “The second family had little, but was willing to share everything…and you let the cow die!”
“Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel replied.
“When I stayed in the basement of that mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and was unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn’t find it.
Then last night, as we slept in the farmer’s bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Like I said, things aren’t always what they seem.”

The moral of the story: If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later!

No Longer a Caterpillar...but Not Yet a Butterfly

2009-08-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

I guess I’ll start off by saying, “Hello! Welcome to my very first official blog! I am so glad you're here!”

Just coming up with a single “theme” for my blog was a profound learning experience in itself. I had no idea that this simple act of giving-a-name-to-my-current-position-in-life would open my eyes in so many ways. I’ll walk you through my thought process.

Long story short, I am currently experiencing an interesting turning point in my life. After living the first 19 years of my life with the belief that had complete control over my fate, I was faced with many changes during my first year of college that made me realize what a fallacy that statement was. Contrary to what I used to believe, I cannot map out my life exactly as I want it to be. I only have to do two things: trust God, and give him the pen so that He can write the story of my life.

It took me a while to come up with an appropriate name to properly describe this point in my life. First, I said that I am in “my process of becoming.” However, as I thought about this, I realized that I will ALWAYS be in the “process of becoming.” You don’t just wake up one day and realize, “Wow! I’ve finally become! No need to learn or grow anymore; I am complete!” It just doesn’t work like that. Well, not here on Earth anyway; Heaven is a different story.

But anyway, after discarding that first idea, I thought of another way to describe where I currently am in life. I called it “the void of uncertainty.” Sounds pretty deep, huh? Well, I just figured that, during these years especially, life is extremely confusing. Everything is uncertain: what you will be doing for the rest of your life, who you will marry (or if you even get married at all), where you will live, what you will actually look like once you really get out of the teenage years. But then I realized how erroneous that theme was…because isn’t ALL of life uncertain? Of course you don’t harness the ability to predict the future as you age! Nobody is certain of the path their life will take, no matter how old or wise they are! So, as much as I really loved calling it “the void of uncertainty,” I had to keep brainstorming for something more suitable.

So then one day, I was thinking about how this college-aged part of life reminds me of being inside a cocoon. You aren’t a little caterpillar anymore; yet, you haven’t transformed quite enough just yet to be fully comfortable facing the world all alone. In college, you’re transforming each and every day into more of an adult…more of the person you will be when you finally graduate, get a job, find a place to live, and begin a life on your own as a butterfly. Butterflies may not have all the answers; they are still learning too. But during this time, we have many opportunities to learn and grow--and we should take advantage of them! And that, my friends, is how “Metamorphosis” came to mind. I am in a constant state of transformation. And it’s likely that you are too!

Now comes the interesting part…who are you going to be transformed by? Will you let people who glorify worldly things like money, power, or prestige impact your life? Will you believe their lies when they tell you that those things will bring happiness? Perhaps you will be molded by the group of people who turn to drugs, alcohol, and random unattached hookups every now and then. They might tell you that their ways lead to fulfillment, but this is a huge lie that people fall for every single day. My friends, there is only one source of total fulfillment, and that is Jesus Christ. Once you realize that His way is the only way to true contentment, life will seem much simpler than it ever has before. Let GOD transform you—give your life to Him as a gift for what He did for you—and discover life as you never have before!

This is the verse that really opened my eyes to this truth:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2

And this is exactly what I am trying to do: allow God to transform me into the woman He wants me to be. I’ve given Him the pen, and now I’ve got to let Him write the story of my life, one day at a time. Won't you give Him yours today?